Phone Tag
by August Blue
Summary: How could one friggn wrong number throw EVERYTHING off kilter? That's what everyone is asking himself, and there's only really three people to blame; Axel, Demyx, and our dear, drunk-off-his-ass Xiggy-poo.
1. Womanizer

_Okay...go ahead and scream at me._

_I know, I know, I don't update for months and then come out with a new fanfic? Like, what the hell?!_

_Anyway, this came to me one day at lunch as my friend told me about a message he got on his cell phone. It was originally going to be all humor and some good smut, but...you know me..._

_ANGST HOES!!!!!_

_Tis mah smut fic! Mah very own smut fic! =D_

_Anyways...onwards_

_**Story:** Phone Tag  
**Rating:** M  
**Pairings: **SoRiku, AkuRoku, SephZack (yuuuuuuuuummmmm), CloudLeon, XigDem, Zemyx, and a weeeeee bit of AkuDem  
**Warning:** _This fanfic contains copious amounts of **gay men**. Women with heart conditions are advised not to read too deeply into the fanfic. (This also applies to women without heart conditions.) It's very SMAXY. See? See how SMAXY it is? It's very SMAXY. I would like to open up the file and read it myself - and I'm just the author! Now, without further ado, enjoy your twisting of the canon universe by any, every, and all means possible.  
**_Disclaimer: _**I do not own Kingdom hearts or even the warning. **_The warning was the brain-child of Minikimii. All credit for the warning goes to Minikimii._**

* * *

_**Week One  
Womanizer**_

_Day One  
Riku_

Riku stood at the bar, flirting shamelessly with the pretty bartender, Sarah. His shoulder-length silver hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail that allowed his bangs to fall into his face. His slim, lean-muscled body was complimented sexily with the required uniform of black slacks, white button-down shirt, and small lap apron. He held his notepad in his right hand as he leaned his left elbow on the counter, smacking his left palm suggestively while he smirked a white-fanged grin at the poor girl.

As expected, she blushed and giggled, batting her long eyelashes and shoving her brown hair out of her mud-brown eyes.

Riku grinned wider, as he knew he had her. She would be joining him in his apartment after a nice date that night.

"Samuels!"

Riku winked at the girl before turning to the source of the voice.

His boss, a sour-looking man named Cid Thomas, stood there, arms crossed. He chewed on a toothpick, agitated for some reason that no one actually ever knew. He never confided in anyone, and no one approached him.

"Back away from the pretty girl, son. C'mere," Cid growled, and Riku could almost smell the rank stench of cigarettes on the man's breath, even at that distance. The man was a borderline chain-smoker, and every once in a while, Riku almost found enough reasons for Cid to stop that habit. His number one reason was that the angry man wasn't sexy enough to smoke that often.

Riku grinned back at Sarah as he pushed away from the counter to saunter over to his boss. Every eye was on him, he knew. Male or female, no one could fail to notice how alluring he was.

"Yes, Mr. Thomas, sir?" Riku asked innocently. He could hear a girl groan somewhere behind him.

Obviously, Cid heard too, for he rolled his eyes as he said, "you'll be training a new guy tomorrow, got it? No buts, kid. You're, unfortunately, the only one working tomorrow that's qualified. Good thing it's a guy."

Riku chuckled. "Of course. We don't want to overwhelm any new girls."

"Shut it, Samuels. His name is Sora Highwind. You can at least try to remember his name," Cid growled roughly.

Riku did feel a little burn from that comment. He had a tendency to forget the new guys' names, but never did he forget a girl's. Even if she wasn't attractive, or she wasn't his type, or she wasn't the least bit interested, he always remembered her name.

But he hid his embarrassment with a smirk. "No problem, sir. That name's almost redundant, isn't it?"

"Shut. Up. And don't mess with the kid, 'kay Samuels? His father is the big guy in town. Ansem Highwind," Cid almost begged Riku.

"Oh, I thought the name was vaguely familiar," the silveret started with a smirk. "Too bad my brother is even more famous."

"Cuz he's a porn star."

"He's a model!"

"Same difference," Cid shrugged. "Chill out, be nice to the kid, and conveniently forget you're a womanizing pig for at least an hour."

Riku cringed as he looked over Cid's shoulder at the front door of the restaurant.

"Should I warn him about your brother?" Riku asked, his whole attitude changing to actual sympathy.

"What?" Cid questioned, confused as Riku stared over his shoulder. "What does that have to do with any—"

"Big brother!"

A man with long black hair and an eye-patch stumbled across the restaurant, waving a napkin around and giggling madly.

Xigbar Thomas, the famous drunk in Radiant Garden, the upper-class of Hollow Bastion. Though pretty obnoxious, even during the rare days of sobriety, he had quite the sexy way of moving and looked hot in leather. He had some gnarly scars from back when he was in a gang, but somehow girls thought it was sexy. He got even more action than Riku could ever dream of getting.

Then again, Riku romanced the ladies into his bed, and never pressured them. He would actually take them on a date then take them to his place. A few he even kept for a few more days.

Xigbar just gets a chick, he's in, he's out, she's gone. That's the way he has been since he moved to Radiant Garden from a place affectionately called The World That Never Was—also known as The Place That Never Should Have Been.

Riku looked around and could see people already flagging down their waiters to get their checks. Not only was Xigbar good in the sack, he was also extremely good at destroying businesses.

"Leave, Xigbar!" Cid bellowed as he saw the same thing as Riku.

"Man, yo, I _totally_ got this broads number! Tell me, dude, is this a three or a seven?" Xigbar drawled, both in drunkenness and the way he actually spoke.

Cid shoved him, and the drunk man almost toppled over. "Get out of here, Xigbar! Go home! Shit!"

Xigbar finally reached his limit and passed out cold on the tile floor. At this, a few people settled back down and went about their business. This was a short visit from Xigbar, thank God.

Cid sighed, rubbing his face roughly, "At least he didn't vomit this time."

Back to Riku's lists of reasons why Cid _shouldn't_ smoke—lung cancer, tongue cancer, tongue hair, gum cancer, yellow teeth, yellow fingers, yellow teeth, rank breath, and he's just not that sexy—Xigbar is what nullified that _entire_ list.

"Samuels—"

"I know, I'll watch the place," Riku interrupted, sighing sadly.

"Thanks, Riku," he muttered, smirking through his frustration. Turning to another waiter, he beckoned the man over. "Strife, help me out?"

Cloud Strife, a quiet and kind man, walked over. He was beautiful, yet not outrageously so that people stared open-mouthed at him. It was widely known that he was gay, and Riku only remembered his name because the blonde had dated his older brother for two years.

Cid rarely came back after taking Xigbar home. The buffoon usually woke up on the way back to his shared townhouse with Cid, anyway. Cid would stay at home with his younger brother for the rest of the day just to make sure the drunk was drinking water and eating properly. For all his faults, Cid was a great older brother.

When Cid wasn't there, Riku was all professional, getting things done quickly and efficiently. He kept his winks to a minimum and his saunter was almost gone. His flirting was less obvious and he made sure to pay equal attention to the men as he did the women. Granted, people still watched him, but less drooled all over themselves.

Then _he_ walked in.

Baby-blues so full of innocence, a scowl that begged to differ, and blonde hair the colour of honey, he had every girls' and guys' jaws hitting the floor. His gait was pure confidence, and though it wasn't a saunter, it was undeniably sexy.

As Sarah's eyes brightened at the sight of the man, Riku knew he hated him.

Riku strode over to the hostess podium and glared at the blonde spitefully.

"Table for one?" Riku spat viciously.

The blonde grinned, though his eyes flashed dangerously. "No, I was actually thinking of sitting at the bar. Thanks anyway."

And the man brushed past Riku without a second glance and walked casually over to the bar. He placed the bag he was carrying onto the counter and pulled out a sleek, checkered laptop and opened it.

"What can I get you?" Sarah asked, blushing as his blues eyes glanced at her briefly.

He looked agitated and completely uninterested with her, which quelled Riku's hatred just a little bit.

"Grilled cheese sandwich for now, I guess," he replied, sighing as she blushed darker and hurried off.

Riku walked behind the bar and stood directly in front of the man, glaring down at him as his fingers flew across the keyboard.

The blonde looked up and glared back, though his fingers never ceased in their movement.

"Yes?" The blonde asked.

Riku just turned with a huff and turned his sexy-mode back on in an attempt to salvage what he'd lost when that worm walked in.

Sarah returned with his sandwich and a glass of water, smiling at the man, but her eyes were drawn to Riku again, which was good for Riku.

The man at the bar had begun to talk to Sarah as she was washing the counter and she was laughing, a real laugh that Riku rarely heard. He only ever could bring the carnal side out in a girl. He wasn't really one for getting close to the girl.

And for his own social ineptness, he hated this newcomer. Who did he think he was? This new jerk was not going to get away with it.

The remaining two hours of Riku and Sarah's shift were agonizing, to say the least.

Finally, when their replacements came in, Riku sauntered almost comically to the bar.

"Hey, Sarah," Riku smiled, "are we still on for tonight, or has this handsome young man come in and stolen you away from me?"

Sarah giggled and Riku knew he still had her.

"Roxas? No! We've just been talking. Just wait here, kay? I have to clock out," Sarah replied.

"Here, hun, why don't you take my stuff back too and clock me out?" The silveret asked and she nodded enthusiastically and scurried to the kitchen.

Riku turned on Roxas, slapping his hands down on the counter on either side of the blonde's laptop and glared.

"I. Hate. You." Riku spat, his aquamarine eyes on fire.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Down, Pretty Boy. Wouldn't wanna get your thong in a twist, would we?"

Riku's nostrils flared with loathing, but he composed himself instantly as he heard Sarah's laughter from the kitchen.

"Have a nice evening, sir," Riku said pleasantly as Sarah joined them at the bar.

"Always a pleasure to be here in your company," Roxas said just as calmly, raising his glass of iced tea slightly.

Riku wasted no time hurrying out of the restaurant. He was in such a hurry, he even missed the flaming red head of his best friend.

oOoOoOo

Riku stood at the door to his balcony, wearing only his boxers slung low on his waist, showing off prominent hipbones.

Sarah hummed happily from the bed, her naked figure sliding smoothly under the Egyptian cotton.

Smiling at her, the silveret padded silently past the bed and out of the room, long strides taking him to the kitchen. The same question always kept him up after one of these little adventures of his.

Keep her for a while? Or ditch her in the morning?

"Ditch" was a pretty strong word. He just never brought it back up after, though many girls didn't mind. He rarely had a girl go psycho on him.

Sarah was nice, and pretty good in the sack, but she lacked…lacked _something_ that Riku was looking for. Every girl it was the same, they were all always _lacking_ something.

He pressed the blinking red button on his answering machine, sighing as he leaned against the counter.

_BEEP_

"_Hi, Riku! It's your favourite dad! I was just calling to make sure you were coming this weekend to have dinner with us! You wouldn't want to hurt your dear, loving mother's feelings--" _Yeah…the ice queen have feelings? _"--and why don't you bring a nice girl around this time! You make a dad proud son, making up for a certain failure. Speaking of disappointment, your brother's coming too. Maybe your lady skills will wake him up from his delusion--"_

_BEEP. "Message deleted"_

Riku _hated_ his parents. He and his brother had grown really close after Sephiroth came out of the closet. Though Sephiroth looked much older than Riku, it was only by two years, so when Sephiroth came out at the age of sixteen, Riku was old enough to understand what that meant, but he could still love his brother all the same.

Their parents saw it differently. Their mother, whom Sephiroth idolized with every fiber of his being, shut herself down completely to the poor guy. She wouldn't even eat in the same _building_ as Sephiroth, and still refused to join the family reunion dinners.

Their father, a right bastard to begin with, just began to take everything out on Sephiroth, the son he always compared Riku to, the son that Riku was always striving to be an equal to. Their father would even beat Sephiroth, until one day, Riku, tears running down is cheeks in rivers, begged him to stop. That was the first time Riku ever let himself cry in front of his father, and the bastard seemed to realize that hitting Sephiroth went too far.

But that didn't stop the verbal abuse that Sephiroth was subjected to every day. Riku had a feeling that was why he went into modeling. His brother wanted to join the army (especially when he learned that homosexuals were slowly becoming welcome in the ranks) but Riku believed that, in a desperate cry for love and attention, he became a male model. Of course, the older man would never admit to this, but Riku could read him better than anyone else could.

Well except for maybe his new boyfriend, but Riku was his _brother_. That counted for _something_ more than a lover.

_BEEP_

"_Riku," _it was Sephiroth, _"if you don't go to that dinner, I will personally see to it that you are impaled on a barbed-wire dildo and slowly tarred and feathered. You hear me?"_

_BEEP "Message deleted"_

"Jesus, Seph…no need for the unnecessary violence…" Riku murmured, chuckling.

Sephiroth knew Riku would be attending. Riku always did, if only just to distract their father from Seph. The younger brother just knew that it made Seph feel better to call and threaten him into going.

_BEEP_

"_Heeeeeey, Riku," _Axel, oh no, _"yeah, man, can't go to that…family dinner. My hamster is scheduled to die of a brain tumor that day. Sorry, dude. Uh yeah, so later. Love ya' lots you Closet Gay."_

_BEEP "Message deleted"_

"Fuckn' bitch, baling on me…" Riku hissed, closing his eyes and running a hand through his hair. "He doesn't even _have_ a fuckn' hamster!"

"Riku, what're you doing up?"

Riku whirled around, composing himself as he saw Sarah standing in the doorway to the bedroom, the sheet from his bed wrapped around her body.

"I was up and decided to check my messages. I was going to do that earlier, but a certain someone distracted me," Riku replied suggestively as he sauntered over to her.

"Oh?" She queried with a raised eyebrow and an attempt at an amused smirk, but her face was overcome with desire for the silveret.

"Yes, and as it seems, I wouldn't mind repeating earlier," he whispered, picking her up.

As he carried her into the room, he kicked the bedroom door shut harshly, ignoring the annoying voice in the back of his had that told him this was wrong.

**TBC**

* * *

_And there we have it, the first chapter of Phone Tag! =D_

_Sooo...I've decided that I officially HATE Microsoft Works Word Processor...I just got a laptop, soooo...it doesn't have word yet...so i had to actually use Works...and it hurts my brain with how primitive it is....-:sigh:- Anyway..._

_NEW LAPTOP! UPDATES PERHAPS MAYBE IN THE NEAR FUTURE, HOPEFULLY AS SOON AS I GET WORD ON HERE!_

_Yeah... :3 my parents used some of their tax return to get me a laptop so I can write :3_

_Anyway, hoped you enjoyed. This chapter was beta-less, so I apologize. I will be having Minikimii as mah beta. I'm not sure if that is her pen name on here, but you may recognize her as the author of **L's Diary** and other such amazing things, yes? Yes, she is my follower, a minion if you will. I am GAwD, she is EPiC FAiL, and my sister is...JESuS? lol_

_Anyway....._

_Read, love, review, repeat!_

_Number, kupo,  
August Blue_


	2. Take Me on the Floor

_Okay, so this is chapitre deux!_

Anyway, so yeah...this chapter was fully beta'd!

My grammar beta combed through it, my idea-beta too, and my smut-beta approved!

_Anyway, onwards!_

_-oOoOoOo-_

_**Week One  
Take me on the Floor**_

_Day Two and Three  
Axel and Demyx_

Axel skipped into his shared apartment with Demyx, dropping his grocery bag on the counter. He ran over to the fish tank—which he had placed next to his answering machine—in the living room and bent at the waist to examine the wondrous glass box.

"Hi, Steve! How are you this fine afternoon?" Axel greeted happily, making a fish-face at the blood-red beta fish that was floating around indifferently.

"Why would you name that vicious _thing_ Steve?!" Demyx cried, covering his heart dramatically with his right hand.

"Cuz he's cute!"

"He _ate_ my goldfish!"

"Well then your goldfish was a pussy."

"Axel!"

"Oh!" Axel cried, clapping his hands, ignoring the protesting blond. "I have messages!"

Axel and Demyx, after deciding they disliked each other's friends, had two phone lines and their very own answering machines. Despite the mutual hate, they thoroughly enjoyed listening to each other's messages.

"Me too. I went first last time, so it's your turn," Demyx said pleasantly, "'sides, I only have one message."

Axel hit the blinking red button with a dramatic flourish.

_BEEP_

"… _Ax… um… "_ It was Riku, and he sounded awful. Axel looked at the time and saw that Riku would have been off work by now. _"… I… um… I think… um… I think I'm… "_

"Gay?" Axel offered in the pause with a slightly crazy giggle. Riku? Gay? HAH!

"_IthinkI'mgay—"_

_CLICK_

"What?!" Axel and Demyx cried at the same time.

Demyx was quite familiar with Riku's womanizing ways, so this was almost equally as shocking to him as it was for Axel. Whereas Axel's expression was one of incredulous stupidity (stunning information took a while to get through his brain, depending on the magnitude of said info), Demyx's was that of full-blown, knock-'im-down, the sun's shining in "The Underworld" (which was really just a dank little hole in world), jaw-hitting-the-floor at seven-thousand-miles-an-hour skeptical shock.

_BEEP_

"_Okay," _Riku again, _"there's this guy and he's so cute and just… just wow. Just call me back, jerk."_

_CLICK_

_BEEP_

"_And you don't even have a hamster, douche bag!"_

_CLICK_

_BEEP_

"_Axel… "_

"Roxy-bear!" Axel cried excitedly. "He actually called me!"

Demyx chuckled, rolling his teal eyes.

"… _never camp out on my lawn, ever again. I see you anywhere within a two mile radius of my house, I will castrate you."_

_CLICK_

_BEEP_

"_Ooops… wrong number… "_

_CLICK_

Axel clapped some more before skipping over to Demyx, who was standing at his own machine.

"Your turn!" He sang, batting his eyelashes at Demyx. "My messages are so much cooler than yours!"

Demyx rolled his eyes again, before hitting the play-button on his answering machine.

_BEEP_

"_Heeeey, babe, if you're still looking for a good tiiime, just come on by. I'm at 4500 Sunset Terrace Waaaaay. Hurry, babe, I'm burning for you. Junior here can't __**wait**__ to feel you, I can't wait to hear you scream my name. Oh babe, don't make me wait… I'm so fucking horny… please come as soon as you can!"_

_CLICK_

"Oh… shit… " Axel murmured.

"Oh, fuck!" Demyx cried, grabbing his head.

He turned to Axel, mouth hanging open. "What do I do?!"

"Go! You should _go_!" Axel replied, green eyes wide with devious excitement.

They both fell silent and still, until slow grins began to contort their faces.

"He obviously thinks a chick will be showing up, so this would be the most fucking perfect prank _ever_!" Axel insisted.

"And it'll teach him not to make booty-calls while drunk!" Demyx added.

"Ouch, calling booty while intoxicated, should be illegal," Axel mock-grimaced.

"This is going to be great! I'll head over this afternoon!" the blonde laughed excitedly, grinning from ear-to-ear.

Axel wrinkled his brow, confused and a bit concerned."Don't you have that date with Zexion?"

Demyx's features darkened slightly, and he looked away from Axel. "Yeah, but that's at like, seven. I'll just show up at the house dressed all sexy, shock the fuck out of the poor sucker, and then leave to meet with Zexion. I'm in, I'm out."

"Okay," Axel said, sighing. "I'm heading to Riku's place. He's obviously having some sort of dilemma."

The redhead made another fish-face (complete with a fishy little kiss) at Steve and grabbed his car-keys. He stopped at the door, though, and turned around quickly.

"Look, I know we're laughing at this and stuff, but call me when you leave to meet with Zexion, okay?" Axel commanded.

Demyx nodded, smiling, and turned around to start putting away the groceries.

oOoOoOo

Axel stood at Riku's door, listening to the silveret scramble around inside.

"Riki-poo, let me in!" Axel cooed teasingly, knocking on the door daintily.

"Shut the _fuck_ up Axel! I don't _need_ your shit!" Riku bellowed, as he opened the door.

Axel took a step back. "You're angry," the redhead noted, shocked. "Why are you angry?"

"Come in," Riku hissed, grabbing Axel's elbow and hauling him into the apartment.

Axel stumbled a bit but regained his balance quickly. He followed Riku through the apartment to the silveret's bedroom, eyebrow raised.

"I'm _angry_ because I'm fucking _gay_. I'm _angry_ because I seemed to have come out of the closet for some childish, giggling, bimbo-idiot who almost destroyed _all _of the plates today. I'm _angry_ because now I'm into something that I'm… I have no idea what to do… "

Riku trailed off, blushing.

"So… "Axel began, "you're angry because… you're inexperienced for the first time in ten years?"

"Yes!" Riku cried.

"In a field you haven't been inexperienced in since age fifteen?" Axel continued.

"Yes!" Riku cried once more, his fists balling up at his sides.

"And… you're plan of action is going to be… ?" Axel prompted.

"I don't know… " Riku flopped down on the bed. "I need… I need help… "

Axel nodded slowly, touching his chin in thought, trying to think of something to say. The silveret was obviously upset about this whole thing, and Riku rarely ever got worked up about things. Then again, he'd been a confident womanizer until now.

And why was Riku staring at him?

"No," Axel said sternly as he connected the dots between what Riku said and why the other man was looking at him.

"Please—"

"No!" Axel whined, shaking his head furiously. "You're like a brother to me!"

"Axel, please! I don't wanna go into this like a blind idiot!" Riku begged, closing his aquamarine eyes suddenly.

Axel stopped speaking, letting his head loll back with a heavy sigh. "Now you're going to cry?"

"Shut the _fuck_ up Axel. You've been gay since conception! I'm new to this shit!" Riku hissed, hitting his mattress.

The redhead gave in, taking pity on his poor best friend, and sat down on the bed next to him.

"Fine, you're right. And I guess… it's best that you learn with me?"

Riku nodded, shrugging. "Yeah… "

"How much are you—"

"Everything."

"No sex."

"Fine," Riku relented instantly, face turning beat red.

"Okay, so… any questions first, before we begin?" Axel asked, awkwardness growing in his stomach. This was _Riku_ he was about to do this with. Riku, his straight best friend who just came tumbling out of the closet.

Axel could feel his life fucking up already.

"Uhm… is it any different? With a guy? The physical stuff, I mean," Riku asked timidly, and the redhead decided he hated this side of Riku. He preferred the cocky, smirking Riku. The Riku he'd known since high school.

"Very, actually. No matter how submissive the other guy is, he will also try to have some control," Axel started, turning to Riku. "Girls will let you kiss them, most of the time. Guys, though, don't like giving up completely. At all."

"Okay," Riku murmured slowly, nodding.

"You know, it's just as easy as kissing a girl—"

"You're not talking me out of this, Axel," Riku interrupted.

"Fine," the redhead growled, grabbing the silveret's face and pulling the frowning lips to his own.

Sliding his hand back into Riku's hair, Axel curled his fingers into a tight fist and crawled up the length of the bed, the silveret scrambling to follow him.

Axel broke the kiss, if you could even call it that, for only a brief moment to make sure Riku wasn't about to die of a heart attack, and latched onto the trembling lips once again. This time, though, he shoved his tongue past slightly parted lips and wrapped his free arm around Riku's waist.

The other man was tense, eyes wide and body trembling. Soon though, he relaxed just enough to grab Axel's biceps and press closer.

Riku's tongue joined with Axel's in a sort of dance before the silveret finally grew confident and began to fight for dominance.

Axel was surprised with how fast Riku recovered, and was even more surprised when Riku emitted a low growl. Suddenly, Axel was on his back, Riku crawling onto his lap, his slender fingers tangling painfully in Axel's red spikes.

The redhead slapped his hands up against Riku's chest, stopping the other man from kissing him again.

"Riku, you said—"

"No, _you_ said 'no sex.' I wasn't gonna do that, anyway," Riku whispered, and it was suddenly clear to the redhead as to how Riku got so many chicks into his bed.

The silveret was a master manipulator, but so was Axel. The man's tricks wouldn't work on him.

"Get off of me, Riku. I'm not one of the girls you brought home, and neither is this kid you're interested in," Axel said kindly, almost laughing as Riku calmed down enough for the words to make sense.

Axel reached up and cupped Riku's cheek. "Look, Riku, you're not just gonna take this kid home, fuck him, then ditch him, are you?"

"I don't… I… no," Riku murmured.

"Then kissing is quite enough for you to learn right now, yes? The rest you're going to have to learn with this kid. Now, up. Get off of me," Axel laughed, and Riku did as he was told.

"What's this guy's name, anyway?" Axel asked, straightening his shirt.

"Sora… Sora Highwind."

-:O:-Demyx-:O:-

Demyx stood in front of the large house, eyes traveling from the pretty lawn to the pretty house, to the pretty neighboring houses, and then down at himself.

He felt so out of place.

He was wearing a pair of the tightest pants he owned, which had holes on the fronts and the backs of his thighs. Any random passerby could tell Demyx wasn't wearing any underwear. He had on three belts, only one of them actually serving any sort of purpose. His shirt was form-fitting, button-down, and black, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Leather wristbands adorned his forearms, and a thin silver chain was all he wore around his neck. For shoes, he had on a pair of really old and worn-out knee-high converse.

He had worn an outfit like this since his band broke up two years ago. He missed his band; he missed rocking out with Zexion. That was how he met Zexion, at a Battle of the Bands concert at their high school. Zexion played bass in a really shitty band, and Demyx's bass player sucked royally. So, last minute, Demyx swapped his band member for Zexion.

They won the contest so easily, it was almost sad. That night, Demyx and Zexion got shit-faced and made out. It would have gone further, but Zexion was quite the lightweight, considering his very slight form, and vomited all over Demyx's shirt.

It was love at first sight. Well, one would really have to love someone to hold his emo-bang out of his face as he paid tribute to the Porcelain God all night.

He and Zexion had dated since, playing in the same band from high school until two years ago, when Zexion decided to go to college. The band broke up, but Demyx was fine with it because he still had Zexion.

But lately, the blonde's boyfriend was acting quite strange. Well, not really 'lately.' The more accurate term would be 'for the past _year_.'

Demyx and Zexion hadn't so much as given each other _head_ in the past year, and Demyx couldn't figure it out.

He tried to talk to Zexion but—

Demyx shook his head, turning on the smile he was wearing before. He'd worry about his problems with Zexion later when he actually saw his boyfriend.

The blonde hurried up the walkway, pulling handcuffs out of his back pocket.

He fluffed up his crazy hair and rang the doorbell. As he waited, he stuck one hip out, placing his free hand on it, and dangling the handcuffs from the pointer finger of his other hand, turning on his sexy face.

The door opened and a tall, rather imposing man filled the doorway. Demyx almost ran away when he saw the man's eye patch and the nasty scar on his face, but he swallowed his fear and smirked.

"Hey, hun, you called for a good time?" Demyx murmured, leaning up close to the man's face, shivering as the man's only visible gold eye stared straight into his soul.

"What? Have you changed your mind, hun? You were _so_ horny when you called… " Demyx whispered, closing his eyes as he leaned ever closer to the man's lips, expecting the man to shove him away.

But very suddenly, he was off of his feet, a strong arm wrapped around his waist. There was a loud noise, and Demyx sluggishly registered it as the front door slamming, and he was shoved up against a wall by a rock-solid body.

Demyx made a noise as a hot mouth pressed against his, the tongue already shoving through his lips without any further warning.

The blonde dropped the handcuffs in favor of trying to shove the other man off, even as he began to respond to the kiss. He whimpered pitifully as the taller man pressed his thigh against the slowly growing bulge in Demyx's tight-ass pants, the fingers splayed across the man's chest twisting into the fabric of his shirt.

The man released Demyx's mouth and moved to the blonde's throat, chuckling as Demyx whispered a half-hearted protest.

"You really wanna stop this?" The man whispered against the skin on Demyx's neck before biting it harshly.

"Oh!" Demyx groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head. He could feel the man smirk against his neck and suddenly a large hand was fondling him through his jeans.

"Fuck," the blonde moaned, letting his head fall back against the wall behind himself, weakly thrusting against the hand.

"Mm, either you're inexperienced or—"

"Shut the fuck up," Demyx hissed at the man as he pulled him into a kiss. They wrestled for dominance for a good ten minutes before Demyx relented, too turned on to care whether he was the fuck_er_ or the fuck_ee_.

"You gonna tell me your name, beautiful?" The man whispered right against Demyx's ear, breath hot and moist, and reeking of alcohol.

Demyx had to wait through several moans before he could actually respond. The man was very talented in moving his hips _just_ the right way.

"D-Dem-Demyx, oh _fuck_!" Demyx cried as the man gyrated even harder against him.

"Mm, nice name, Demyx." The man moaned, lips clamping down on Demyx's earlobe to suck gently, pulling another moan from the younger man. "I guess I should tell you mine now… "

"Wh-wh-_oooooh_-why?" Demyx moaned stupidly. The synapses between his hearing and the word processing part of his brain seemed to disconnect when he was turned on past the point of no return.

Same thing happened to his morals. They just stopped. Somewhere, he was thinking that this was very, very wrong, but his selfish side, his lustful side, knew this felt way too good to stop it.

"How are you going to scream it if you don't know it?" the man laughed, picking Demyx up off the ground.

Demyx moaned and immediately wrapped his legs around the man's waist, teal eyes fluttering as his erection was pressed against the man's hard abdomen.

"I'm Xigbar," the man whispered before turning around and carrying Demyx up the stairs. Demyx could only slightly appreciate the man's strength.

He was way too hot to care about anything more than stripping and fucking around with this man.

The younger of the two could barely remember being thrown down on the bed, and couldn't seem to remember how exactly they were both naked, and he couldn't even think anymore as the man's hot—so hot—mouth engulfed his dick.

He couldn't really remember coming, and he sort of remembered returning the favor for Xigbar, but what he really remembered was how long Xigbar prepared him.

Everything else had been rough, but this was so calming, and Demyx would have called it sweet if Xigbar wasn't a complete stranger. Xigbar spent so long preparing the blonde, that he had Demyx whining and whimpering, and almost _crying_ with need.

Demyx remembered clearly when Xigbar first entered him, his erection slicked with a near-excessive amount of lube, and the blonde didn't even flinch.

Then the raven-haired man began to literally pound him into the mattress.

Having always been with Zexion for every sexual encounter, Demyx _never_ had this rough of sex. The blonde's lover was a fan of gentle love-making, only rarely letting himself indulge in a bit of animalistic rutting. Never did he _pound_ into Demyx, and rarely did Demyx ever attempt to 'bang' Zexion.

This was foreign territory for the blonde and it was beyond satisfactory. He was moaning, and screaming, and begging for more before long, his eyes rolled back seemingly permanently.

Supporting himself with both hands on either side of Demyx's head, Xigbar's fingers playing absently with the blonde's already sweat-drenched hair. His one yellow eye watched Demyx's face like a hawk, catching and keeping note of every reaction Demyx made. The raven-haired man grinned, suddenly, and stopped moving.

Demyx whined pathetically, before Xigbar moved even closer to him, barely brushing against his prostate. The blonde groaned and tried to thrust against the larger man.

Chuckling through the thick haze of arousal and alcohol, Xigbar sat up and loosely wound his arms around Demyx's waist. Taking advantage of the younger male's arching back, the larger man pulled Demyx up so the blond was sitting fully on his lap. Demyx shuddered as Xigbar's length _somehow_ slid deeper into him.

"Hold on tight, Demyx," Xigbar whispered against his neck, and suddenly Demyx's world went black.

The older man began moving so fast and hard that the blonde couldn't find the time to breathe properly, let alone moan or scream. He went silent, fingernails digging into Xigbar's back and breaking skin as he was fucked far more thoroughly than he had ever been in his entire life.

His head lolled back, and Xigbar attacked the tanned flesh there. Demyx was close, he could feel it, and he welcomed the release.

"Close… " he gasped with what little air he had in his lungs and Xigbar obviously tried to chuckle, but it came out in a low, pleasure-soaked growl.

Xigbar's thrusts lost their timed grace and Demyx lost himself completely as he came.

They sat there together, panting and almost satisfied. Demyx's body was too limp to move for a while, settling to just enjoy the afterglow, for he was surely about to be kicked out.

The raven-haired man laid Demyx down on his back, allowing the blonde more time to recover. He pulled out slowly, and with the younger man watching him, he reached down and grabbed his own dick, slowly bringing it back to full arousal.

Having not even recovered from coming twice already, Demyx moaned weakly as Xigbar entered him again. Surprisingly, the blonde's body was quicker than his brain, and his erection sprang to life once again, and Demyx was lost drowning in the rise and fall of the tides within his body.

They had sex for the rest of the night, but Xigbar didn't finish again until the very end. For Demyx though, one orgasm flowed into the next, and eventually he was so exhausted, he could barely even kiss Xigbar anymore.

But it felt so amazing, to be driven to such satisfied exhaustion, for his limbs to be so drained, and for pleasure to still be assaulting him from all angles.

The roughness of sex varied. Xigbar would be slow and gentle one orgasm, and then violently rough the next.

The positions were different almost every time, as well. Demyx didn't know how long he was forced to stay on his hands and knees, but eventually he was too weak to hold himself up. His arms eventually gave out and Xigbar had to wrap his arms around Demyx's waist. If Demyx had been coherent enough, he would have laughed—he was basically a doll at that point; his body could have been manipulated any which way Xigbar wanted.

Finally, Demyx reached his limit, the point where only one more orgasm before he literally passed out.

They were back to the position they were in when they first screwed—Xigbar on his knees with Demyx sitting on his lap—and somewhere in his sex-fogged brain, Demyx realized that this was Xigbar's favourite position. The way Xigbar held him—like he actually cared—and the way the older man would place hot, open-mouthed kisses along to column of Demyx's throat, and the way he groaned softly against Demyx's skin. But it was really the way Xigbar pressed one large callused hand against his tailbone, guiding him, and the other was tangled loosely in Demyx's hair that gave the raven-haired man away. It was fair too intimate a position for it to just be 'fun' for Xigbar.

And because of this, Demyx knew this was the end of the night. He came to the conclusion—that he would later reflect on when he wasn't being fucked mercilessly—that Xigbar would only allow himself to cum in that position only during actual sex.

The blonde's vision grew darker with exhaustion, black blobs forming as lack of sufficient oxygen took its effect. His moans had dwindled to nothing a couple orgasms ago, and as expected Xigbar let himself loose.

They rutted as hard and fast as the first time, and as they both came, Demyx screamed Xigbar's name with the last of his breath and passed out against Xigbar's sweaty chest. Distantly, as his world faded quickly, he could hear Xigbar moaning his name repeatedly.

oOoOoOo

Demyx awoke to the sound of yelling. He opened his eyes slightly, groaning as he did. The sun was so bright in the morning.

Rubbing his eyes, Demyx smiled as he smelt the unmistakable scent of sex. He sat up and hissed at the pain in his lower back and soreness in the muscles of his inner thighs.

At that, he wrinkled his nose, blinking. He hadn't bottomed with Zexion in years. Wait, he and Zexion haven't had any—

And the memories from the night before came flooding back to Demyx when he finally opened his eyes to the unfamiliar room.

"Oh _shit_ that wasn't a dream!" He cried hoarsely, his throat scratchy from screaming the night before.

He rolled over, ignoring the pain and grabbed his pants. He found his cell phone in the front pocket and flipped it open.

Three voicemails. Shit.

He dialed his voicemail and waited for the mechanical female's drabble to stop and for the messages to start.

"_Hey Demyx, where're you at? You with Zexion yet? Call me."_

Demyx deleted the message quickly, tears welling up in his eyes.

"_Hi Demyx. If you had something more important to do than see me, you just had to say so."_

Demyx's mouth dropped open in shock, and he listened to the message five more times, waiting for it to sink in. Zexion's voice was so accusing. It was almost as if Zexion _knew_ he'd been off sleeping with another man. Demyx wished he would just die.

He'd have to tell Zexion that he had cheated on him, and then break up with him. There was no way that Demyx could look the man in the eye again after this.

The next message began to play.

"_Demyx, why aren't you answering? Are you okay? Where the fuck are you? Stop by my work when you get this message. I have to see that you're alive at least. I'm worried fucking sick about you!"_

Demyx shut his phone after Axel's last message and got off the bed. He pulled on his pants and shirt, buttoning the shirt only part of the way. He wrestled with his shoes, not even bothering to tie them and limped out into the hallway.

He ran down the stairs, trying to ignore the burning ache in his rear, and was ready to make a break for the door when he recognized the voice that was yelling.

"Yer such an _idiot_, Xigbar! You promised no more floozies! I'm going up there and kicking that slut out!"

"Cid, wait!"

And Cid turned the corner out of the kitchen and almost ran right into Demyx.

They stared at each other, blinking, and finally Demyx's tears overflowed.

It was really a small world, you see. As it turns out, Demyx was one of the managers at Cid's restaurant, and one of Cid's first picks to take over the place when he finally got tired of it.

"Demyx?" Cid questioned, his voice alight with confusion, but in Demyx's emotional state of mind, he was sure he heard disgust in the man's tone.

"Please don't fire me! Please!"

"Fire you? What are you talking about—"

"I didn't… I was just… why are you here?" Demyx questioned desperately, his voice cracking and his throat itchy. He looked over Cid's shoulder and saw Xigbar standing in the doorway to the kitchen, his entire body shaking.

"That idiot over there," Cid growled, nodding his head in Xigbar's direction, "is my brother. What's going on?"

"Your… your brother?" Demyx whispered, tremors wracking his body.

"Yes. Now what happened, Demyx?"

"I… I was only gonna prank him, I swear! Please don't fire me, Cid! I'm sorry, I don't usually sleep with random strangers—well I mean, I _never_ sleep with—shit I need Axel," Demyx moaned, covering his face as more tears fell.

"Who's Axel?" Xigbar asked, his voice holding a tinge of hurt. "Your boyfriend?"

"No! He's not—oh shit, I have to go, Cid. Just… stay away from me, Xigbar," Demyx insisted as he skirted around Cid and tried to walk as steadily as he could to the front door.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, asshole?" Xigbar hissed angrily.

"I was just some shitty lay anyway, why do you care if you see me again?" Demyx retorted, spinning around to glare as viciously as he could through his tears. "Just… stay away from me. Everything is ruined now. Just go back to your… whatever the hell you did before yesterday!"

Demyx left the house, slamming the door shut behind himself, trying to stop the flow of salty tears from running down his cheeks as he stumbled blindly onto the sidewalk only wishing that the world would just _stop_.

**TBC**

_Wooooooo I love this chapter! Mostly cuz Minikimii actually cried! She never cries! I discovered the secret to make her cry! Really sad smut! Lol_

_Also, I really…really…like…XigDem._

_Anyway, sorry for the AkuRiku. There'll be a bit more in the future._

_There will be A LOT more XigDem in the future than Zemyx. I prefer XigDem, actually....C'est tres sexy._

_Also, I uploaded this fic on DeviantArt and Mediaminer._

_On DeviantArt, I am ph33rt3hd4rkn3ss and on Mediaminer I am AugustBlue :)_

_Anyway, read, love, review, repeat!_

_Number, kupo,  
August Blue_


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE (please read)

_(Yes I am aware of the illegality of Author's Notes. Whatever)_

Hello everyone! Long time, no see!

First of all, I would like to start with the bad news. That chiefly being; _Catching My Soul on Fire_ will not be returning. **PUT THE PITCHFORKS DOWN, and allow me to explain.** I fully intended on rewriting it, and then I lost motivation. I decided I would edit it instead then reupload it. Long story short, my laptop crashed and had to be reformatted and CMSoF did not make it through the ordeal. Considering a vast majority of my original fiction didn't make it either, I think my heartache might be a little bit greater.

Also, I will not be revisiting _One Headlight_ and _No Sound but the Wind_, or _Key to My Soul_. I have very little motivation to write anything within the Kingdom Hearts fandom, and I'm kind of done writing for other people. What I mean by that is, a lot of what I was writing, I was writing _for my readers_ and wasn't enjoying a single moment of it. I do all of my writing for myself now, especially now that I'm out of school and don't have my main pod of readers surrounding me for 6 hours every day for 5 days. I do not say this to make you feel bad or anything, that is just the plain and simple truth.

Now, the good news(?)!

**I have hit the Hobbit fandom hard**, and seem to be one of the most prolific authors. It is all wildly inappropriate subject matter (basically it's porn), so you will find none of it on this site! You can find all of my work on my Tumblr (thorinsexenshield) or my AO3 (also, thorinsexenshield).

I'm coming out and being completely honest with you guys here in saying that there is likely to _never_ be any updates to any of my fics on this site and CMSoF is _never_ coming back. Now, I understand disappointment, but any unnecessary negativity I receive about this will be promptly deleted, and/or ignored.

Thank you so much for your understanding, and I hope to see some of you guys again. :)

Number, kupo,

August Blue


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